The Duke & the Doctor

The Duke & the Doctor

Last weekend, I was in this small town called Durham, that is located in North Carolina State. I was able to visit one of the best medical school in the States, Duke University. As previously warned by my friend of the very “Harry Potter” looking structure of the campus, I actually enjoyed admiring the beautiful architecture, there was just so much Art! The gardens were very mystical just as the history behind it. The garden was dedicated in the memory of Duke’s Wife, Sarah. P Duke (how romantic). The Duke Chapel was breath-taking and entering a real, real Church for the first time intensely drew me deeply. I was in love with the whole Gothic Beauty of the University!

Later that day, during dinner with my friend’s family, they told me how the whole town was full of doctors! So, obviously the medical centers and health care was probably a BOMB as well! We came to talk about this one specific doctor, who has already retired for years since he was in his 80s. He was a great surgeon of his time and very passionate at what he did professionally. However, even though he has retired for years and years, he still thought he was a doctor, saying “Once a doctor, always a doctor.” It wasn’t a different scene when he walked around town, pretending to a doctor because the town people knew and would be better off to not burst his bubble of reality. However,one time, when people heard a cry in the middle of the night, everybody rushed to the location of the scream, to find out his wife shrieking fanatically out of the house. The old doctor has tried to kill his wife which in his perspective as a doctor, was trying to operate his wife BUT with a kitchen knife. It was quite a dilemma what response was acceptable because of the poor doctor’s condition of amnesia. To me personally, it impressed me how the old man was able to live forever with his one passion in life; reliving each of his doctor days forever. This made me think that to most people medical conditions are seen as a curse, a very unfortunate deficit, but maybe, just maybe some can be viewed another way around.

To the reader that has made it this far, Happy Halloween!

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Letter to God

Letter to God

Letter to God

Is it just me?

Wandering like a lost soul

Have I missed a turn somewhere?

This road keeps extending, never reaching

Dear Father? Dear Lord? Dear God?

This numbness only stretches, never ending

In this circular maze, floating on the surface, I look to grasp upon

You, to follow You, to praise You, to kneel to You, lead me the way

Show me how to love like You have loved all

 

Is this the way I live?

Wandering like a lost soul

Have I missed a sign somewhere?

I have grown weary and baffled seeking the truth

Dear Father? I am falling on my knees in this drought

Hungry for your Love, desirous for touch, I can no longer rise

I surrender, I surrender, to this path that runs the opposite from You

I am slowing drowning in my thoughts, looking for your presence in me

Dear Lord? Dear God? Make me alive again, for this time, I will live through You.

 

 

*This was for my poem writing exercise… I don’t know if anyone can rationalize what those lines reflect or if anyone can even understand it. But to me personally, it truly speaks for my inner conflict and it really did just come out of my emotion of feeling lost and confused. When I wrote it, I didn’t care about the perfection or the diction or the grammar or whatever of it but I wrote it down to vent out my feelings, to understand in a slow calmness about my relationship with Him.

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I exist to be a…

“I exist to be a pain in the ass but I also exist to have a conscience as an educator.”

 

*One of the many my Pre-modern World History professor has said in class but today, instead of being inspired for the moment, I consciously made the effort to write it down in my note. This basically summarizes the type of educator he is, at first stern and mean but as you move along, you start to understand why.

3-6-9 A Writing Task

3-6-9 A Writing Task

So, the other day… at our Creative Writing class, we were given a task called 3-6-9, where we write 3 shorts in just 69 words, excluding title of course! The 3 shorts can stand as a story on its own or can be a story all together. This task was quite a challenge for me because I tend to write a lot.. of details..so here is my first attempt.

  1. Time of Sharing

I knew it wasn’t Susan’s but I opened it anyway.

“Susan, I wanted your jolly, fat, dancing Santa…!” I grumbled at the electronic car.

“Steal it from Jack!” Susan replied.

Everything was well till someone else stole the Santa from my lap at the last turn of the game and left me in tears. I never ever wanted to play that stupid White Elephant gift exchange ever!

  1. I do not like you.

All I had wished for was to get my belly pierced on my 16th birthday but mum would always give me the death stare dare I mentioned it. I was fearful of her yet I felt fearless that day. At midnight, I was sneaked out by my girls to get it pierced. That morning was a hell.

“I hate you!”, I screamed at mom and never went home.

  1. Present day, today.

I sit beside my mum’s bed, holding her hand as she slowly drifts away to a sweet dream. I whisper “I love you mum.” as the waves on the monitor slowly flattens. I examine her for the last time, the lines of her struggles that rested so beautifully on her looked more prominent.

The emptiness within disappeared because she imprinted a mark on my heart that would last forever.

Waking up to the same day, everyday.

Waking up to the same day, everyday.

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Last night I watched the movie “50 First Dates” on netflix because I could not sleep and I no longer wanted to finish up my homework. I could not help smiling and laughing with “awwww” throughout the whole movie! I loved it so much! This cute chick flick movie really touched me deeply even though the it was a happy ending, it made me reflect on the importance of memory.

Lucy the main heroine only has long term memory and cannot process information in the short-term memory to her long-term memory due to a car accident a year ago. So, she lives the same day everyday before the accident and has no recollection of new memories. Then she meets this guy, Henry, who he deeply falls for her and everyday he has to make her fall in love, hence the title “50 First Dates” because every day is a new day for her.

I won’t spill on the other details of the movie because I do not think I can even explain the awesomeness of the movie as it is and it is wayyy WORTH it to watch it!!! After the movie, more than the “OH, i wish i had a guy like that..” or “oww, this is the best movie ever!!!”, I was intensely moved by the way our “Memory” plays in our life. As cliche as it sounds, I do not remember the last time I thought about our “memory” in such perspective. I mean, yes, of course, most of us are all “healthy” and living a normal life but never did I think of my “memory” in such gratefulness. Throughout the movie, I kept wondering what if I had the same condition… I could not bear the thought! I really am so thankful my “memory” is intact, that allows me to make new memories. And I realize it is these new memories that move us along in life, shape us as a person and brings us happiness. We are able to experience all that life has to offer to us and preserve them within us. The lessons we learnt, people we met and things that we did, all are safely guarded in us. As humans, memory is also all that we have when we are left with nothing. When we die, it is all these memories that make our life and we die with it. No one can snatch away your memory, it solely belongs to you, that makes every part of you, so thinking about the less fortunate people that do not have it like us, in my opinion, it is one of the worst thing in the world. So, can you imagine yourself without the ability to make new memories? Without the ability to store what you did, with whom and where? How would you feel waking up everyday to the same day?

Is your Reality your Dream?

Is your Reality your Dream?

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I woke up this morning, bewildered whether I was still dreaming or have actually woken up. Have you ever considered the thought that perhaps our reality is all a dream and our dreams are our existence?

This morning I woke up feeling strange, like I was in a distant place in solitary. I had casually opened my eyes and in an instant, I felt a shift in gravity, like I had traveled millions of years at the speed of light, arriving at a foreign universe far, far away from my own being. I peeked from side to side, hoping for something familiar but nothing in sight. I thoughtlessly stretched my arm and reached for something. “5 more minutes to 8”, I thought. I closed my eyes vigorously and tried to seal them lock, but No. I was in vain. I was wide awake.  I started feeling blue, dreading the dullness of the day and desiring more and more of the paradise I was lost at. Thereupon, I started wondering what if our reality was all a dream and our dreams were our existence? (I wished!) Then, I replayed the paradise that lived in my head, in my mind and devoured every detail of it before it faded away and awaited for the day my mind decides to take me to the “paradise” once again.