LET LOSE

We are our very own biggest critic, judge and competitor. We critic our own decision-makings, thoughts and actions, we judge ourselves of who we are and who we can never achieve to be. Hell yeah, we even do the judging of ourselves for others, putting ourselves in their shoes and looking at ourselves from their eyes, making assumptions as if we knew better of what they think about us. We then try to please and live up to our expectations of their expectations. As if all that isn’t enough, we further punish ourselves by competing against ourselves each and every moment. Maybe if I say this, do that, wear this, buy that, have this… I can be more/ I can be less __________________.

But why is it that we are constantly in a battle with ourselves? Is there even a finish line?For how long are we a work-in-progress? How do we come to see that we are well-cultivated? Are we so self-centered, that all we could care about is ourselves?

I know that many of us go through this from time to time, questioning the universe of our potentials and goals. And it isn’t a sin to want to be better and an improved self. And it is okay to want to be good to others and to create an image that you desire for yourself to the world. Β These things are what average people would do.

Still, wouldn’t it be much nicer if we could give ourselves a little more credit than doubts, to fill ourselves with positivity than sweating on the unnecessary little things? Perhaps a pat on the back on our mind reminding how far we’ve come? Wouldn’t it be much nicer if we could do more of this than fiddling with the voices in our heads?

Advertisements

OUTSIDER

It’s been a recent realisation but a long-time discovery. I finally know and feel what it’s like to be in a crowded room but still feel alone.

Is it supposed to be upsetting? Is it pathetic? Is it so wrong?

Some might say it’s sad… and it is SAD to feel that way. But haven’t we all been there? Don’t we all feel like that once in a while? Why is it that we always need a someone or a something to happen to us, just so we feel right, normal again.

Yes, humans are social animals. We rely on human interactions to survive. But in fact, it would be very rare to die from the lack of human interactions because that is pretty much inevitable. Unless you’re stuck in a deep, dark hole away from any civilisation or something extreme as such. But question is, why is it so bad?

Why do we always feel the need? Why does it get us so upset when we’re the ones left out? Why do we always have to fit in somewhere? What’s wrong with being an individual? What’s so strange and pitiful about being an outsider?