Good intentions

Good intentions

time

All I wanted was to be the most supportive, ready to catch even when you fall, no apology needed even when you mess up kind of person to you. All was good even though the situation wasn’t ideal. I could see past all the darkness and see the beaming bright light at the end of the tunnel. But sometimes no matter how much patience you give someone, no matter how hard you try to be their rock, you can still be never good enough, never understanding enough, never patient enough, and instead of noticing why you were doing all those in the first place, you start to wonder if it is just you.

This whole time I was trying my best to fix a broken heart even though I realized each time I was giving away a part of me, I thought it’d be a success and everything would work out fine. Perhaps I should think more positively… maybe this isn’t the end, this is just one of those multiple bumps we need to bear through.

Only time will tell and I am no powerful than time, so for now, instead of going over and over my head thinking what happened in a blink of an eye, I will let time pass by. No matter what I do or say at this point, I’d just be wounding myself. I won’t let my emotions get the best of me instead I will let them be and accept them as they are. Time will heal me because I am no greater than time.

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First

First

First sunset of the year 2018.

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It’s ordinary things like these that I realize make me feel completely fulfilled at the end of the day.

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Things we see every day of our lives but never noticed.

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Next time you feel like getting away from the crowds of life, take a moment.

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Take the moment to notice and appreciate what was always there. You too will be cured.

 

 

LET LOSE

LET LOSE

We are our very own biggest critic, judge and competitor. We critic our own decision-makings, thoughts and actions, we judge ourselves of who we are and who we can never achieve to be. Hell yeah, we even do the judging of ourselves for others, putting ourselves in their shoes and looking at ourselves from their eyes, making assumptions as if we knew better of what they think about us. We then try to please and live up to our expectations of their expectations. As if all that isn’t enough, we further punish ourselves by competing against ourselves each and every moment. Maybe if I say this, do that, wear this, buy that, have this… I can be more/ I can be less __________________.

But why is it that we are constantly in a battle with ourselves? Is there even a finish line?For how long are we a work-in-progress? How do we come to see that we are well-cultivated? Are we so self-centered, that all we could care about is ourselves?

I know that many of us go through this from time to time, questioning the universe of our potentials and goals. And it isn’t a sin to want to be better and an improved self. And it is okay to want to be good to others and to create an image that you desire for yourself to the world.  These things are what average people would do.

Still, wouldn’t it be much nicer if we could give ourselves a little more credit than doubts, to fill ourselves with positivity than sweating on the unnecessary little things? Perhaps a pat on the back on our mind reminding how far we’ve come? Wouldn’t it be much nicer if we could do more of this than fiddling with the voices in our heads?

OUTSIDER

OUTSIDER

It’s been a recent realisation but a long-time discovery. I finally know and feel what it’s like to be in a crowded room but still feel alone.

Is it supposed to be upsetting? Is it pathetic? Is it so wrong?

Some might say it’s sad… and it is SAD to feel that way. But haven’t we all been there? Don’t we all feel like that once in a while? Why is it that we always need a someone or a something to happen to us, just so we feel right, normal again.

Yes, humans are social animals. We rely on human interactions to survive. But in fact, it would be very rare to die from the lack of human interactions because that is pretty much inevitable. Unless you’re stuck in a deep, dark hole away from any civilisation or something extreme as such. But question is, why is it so bad?

Why do we always feel the need? Why does it get us so upset when we’re the ones left out? Why do we always have to fit in somewhere? What’s wrong with being an individual? What’s so strange and pitiful about being an outsider?

 

Lights & Stars

Lights & Stars


Living in the city that’s become hard to spot stars, how I wish I was somewhere where I could look up & count the stars to sleep. But instead this is what I see, a birds-view of city lights. Seeing this, I feel even more blessed. And I remember, serenity is not what’s on the outside but what we feel in the inside.

Throwing a little throwback to the start of my deadline weeks (the end of semester many of us in universities/college can relate!).

Hope everyone else is having good days!
Xoxo,

Oddinary Girl

So far, so good. 

So far, so good. 

Hey lovelies! 
2016 is quickly becoming my year of experimenting. I feel like I’m doing things spontaneously, going with the flow vibe. It’s my last year finishing my undergrad and after that I would have to immerse in reality, work, career & just life in general. 

So, I’m taking full advantage of this last year in undergrad school, experimenting different things & finding me, before I lose me in the real world. 

For instance,    I dyed my hair oneday when I felt like I needed change. I wish I was brave enough to go full blonde tho, but the thought of bleaching my hair was just unbearable. Maybe someday, when my hair is healthier!

The other day,   I’ve heard so much about eye-lash extensions, which are fake eyelashes attached to your real eyelashes to give you semi-permanent, full looking lashes. I tried it out for myself as I have almost non-existent lashes.   

  Excuse my eyebrow, but my lashes look almost doll-like! I was hating them the first day and though it’s high maintenance, I’m growing to love them on me. I will write a post on my eyelash extension experience after they reach their life-span (which should be around 1 month if taken good care!). 

    I have also started going back to the gym and regaining my stamina. Working out has become my ultimate stress reliever! I’m also making small changes to my lifestyle & changing things on my plate bit by bit! 🙂 

Another thing I am doing more often, I’ve been snapchatting daily just for the fun of it! Indeed it is so entertaining playing with the filters and making fun of myself …& my friends ofcourse! This is the social platform I’m currently most active in. Add me 👻@ roshpun if you wanna see my daily runabouts! 

Lastly,      I’ve been appreciating my uni days so much more as I am quickly finishing up with my courses & school life! Boy, no matter how stressful deadlines made me feel, I’m gonna miss those days, laughing too much with my mates over project works!

Sorry for the pointless ramble but that’s all I’ve been up to. & so far, it’s been good. What about you guys? 

Xoxo, 

Oddinary Girl 

Life: Update

Life: Update

A (public) note to myself; #facts of life

Expect nobody and no one but YOURSELF wherever and whatever point in your life you’re in.

This is not about dissing others, self-pity or having too much expectation of others. This is also not just a pessimistic view of people, in fact, it is innate in everyone and myself included, whether done intentionally or non- intentionally. Either way, damage is still done and like the saying, it is hard to fix a broken mirror and sometimes not even easily fixable. This year I’ve been going through quite a transition, experiencing horrific things after things and the people I keep close to are too transitioning. This is however, just natural, another fact of life; people change.

From all this, a lesson I have taken is that no matter what, it will only be you for yourself at the end of the road. Promises of always being there and whatnot will be broken promises, so never expect anyone to always be there because they will eventually change just as you will too and you have no one but yourself in the end.  And that’s what’s special about life; the facts of life just like the saying: You are born alone and you will eventually die alone too.

🙂

So enjoy yourself, be you and always put yourself first!

 

xoxo,

Oddinary Girl