Good intentions

Good intentions

time

All I wanted was to be the most supportive, ready to catch even when you fall, no apology needed even when you mess up kind of person to you. All was good even though the situation wasn’t ideal. I could see past all the darkness and see the beaming bright light at the end of the tunnel. But sometimes no matter how much patience you give someone, no matter how hard you try to be their rock, you can still be never good enough, never understanding enough, never patient enough, and instead of noticing why you were doing all those in the first place, you start to wonder if it is just you.

This whole time I was trying my best to fix a broken heart even though I realized each time I was giving away a part of me, I thought it’d be a success and everything would work out fine. Perhaps I should think more positively… maybe this isn’t the end, this is just one of those multiple bumps we need to bear through.

Only time will tell and I am no powerful than time, so for now, instead of going over and over my head thinking what happened in a blink of an eye, I will let time pass by. No matter what I do or say at this point, I’d just be wounding myself. I won’t let my emotions get the best of me instead I will let them be and accept them as they are. Time will heal me because I am no greater than time.

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First

First

First sunset of the year 2018.

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It’s ordinary things like these that I realize make me feel completely fulfilled at the end of the day.

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Things we see every day of our lives but never noticed.

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Next time you feel like getting away from the crowds of life, take a moment.

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Take the moment to notice and appreciate what was always there. You too will be cured.

 

 

LET LOSE

LET LOSE

We are our very own biggest critic, judge and competitor. We critic our own decision-makings, thoughts and actions, we judge ourselves of who we are and who we can never achieve to be. Hell yeah, we even do the judging of ourselves for others, putting ourselves in their shoes and looking at ourselves from their eyes, making assumptions as if we knew better of what they think about us. We then try to please and live up to our expectations of their expectations. As if all that isn’t enough, we further punish ourselves by competing against ourselves each and every moment. Maybe if I say this, do that, wear this, buy that, have this… I can be more/ I can be less __________________.

But why is it that we are constantly in a battle with ourselves? Is there even a finish line?For how long are we a work-in-progress? How do we come to see that we are well-cultivated? Are we so self-centered, that all we could care about is ourselves?

I know that many of us go through this from time to time, questioning the universe of our potentials and goals. And it isn’t a sin to want to be better and an improved self. And it is okay to want to be good to others and to create an image that you desire for yourself to the world.  These things are what average people would do.

Still, wouldn’t it be much nicer if we could give ourselves a little more credit than doubts, to fill ourselves with positivity than sweating on the unnecessary little things? Perhaps a pat on the back on our mind reminding how far we’ve come? Wouldn’t it be much nicer if we could do more of this than fiddling with the voices in our heads?

A Choice

A Choice

Hey my lovelies!

Logged back in after ages… and what a coincidence! It’s my blog’s 3rd Anniversary!

Ever since I was little, my personal diary meant the most to me. I’ve always enjoyed writing and I always kept a journal, writing about my days, special moments, the goods and the bads. Like most, it was a way to express myself. Rather than sharing my feelings with people, I found more calming to write them down. Even today, I feel that I can express myself better in writing than doing it verbally.

Before this blog, I had other blogs as well, such as xanga, blogspot and so on, however, 3 years ago, I decided to make this one an official one so that all my thoughts and experiences could be saved in one place. Besides that, I also wanted to put myself out there in the big cyber world. I wanted to share myself, meet other bloggers and hopefully gain something from them!

Today, I am admitting that I have not achieved what I decided to achieve 3 years ago. I definitely don’t have a big following, I occasionally post and I hardly keep in touch with people I’ve met in here! And what I realized is that, it was not because I could not achieve it or was not lucky enough, but it was the CHOICE I made. All this time, my time was shifted somewhere else in my life, graduating with honours, moving house and starting a new job! I can say that all these things occupied my time and so I did not have the time for this blog, but I’d be lying because truth is, we can always make time for things we really want and this blog is something that I want to work for.

From today, I am making another CHOICE, which I should have done long ago. I am going to put my full effort in this blog and stay consistent with it. If you have been reading til here, some wise words of motivation would help me to keep going. Or if you see yourself in me, be sure to share your thoughts! I would appreciate any type of feedback.

Love,

Oddinary Girl

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Lights & Stars

Lights & Stars


Living in the city that’s become hard to spot stars, how I wish I was somewhere where I could look up & count the stars to sleep. But instead this is what I see, a birds-view of city lights. Seeing this, I feel even more blessed. And I remember, serenity is not what’s on the outside but what we feel in the inside.

Throwing a little throwback to the start of my deadline weeks (the end of semester many of us in universities/college can relate!).

Hope everyone else is having good days!
Xoxo,

Oddinary Girl

So far, so good. 

So far, so good. 

Hey lovelies! 
2016 is quickly becoming my year of experimenting. I feel like I’m doing things spontaneously, going with the flow vibe. It’s my last year finishing my undergrad and after that I would have to immerse in reality, work, career & just life in general. 

So, I’m taking full advantage of this last year in undergrad school, experimenting different things & finding me, before I lose me in the real world. 

For instance,    I dyed my hair oneday when I felt like I needed change. I wish I was brave enough to go full blonde tho, but the thought of bleaching my hair was just unbearable. Maybe someday, when my hair is healthier!

The other day,   I’ve heard so much about eye-lash extensions, which are fake eyelashes attached to your real eyelashes to give you semi-permanent, full looking lashes. I tried it out for myself as I have almost non-existent lashes.   

  Excuse my eyebrow, but my lashes look almost doll-like! I was hating them the first day and though it’s high maintenance, I’m growing to love them on me. I will write a post on my eyelash extension experience after they reach their life-span (which should be around 1 month if taken good care!). 

    I have also started going back to the gym and regaining my stamina. Working out has become my ultimate stress reliever! I’m also making small changes to my lifestyle & changing things on my plate bit by bit! 🙂 

Another thing I am doing more often, I’ve been snapchatting daily just for the fun of it! Indeed it is so entertaining playing with the filters and making fun of myself …& my friends ofcourse! This is the social platform I’m currently most active in. Add me 👻@ roshpun if you wanna see my daily runabouts! 

Lastly,      I’ve been appreciating my uni days so much more as I am quickly finishing up with my courses & school life! Boy, no matter how stressful deadlines made me feel, I’m gonna miss those days, laughing too much with my mates over project works!

Sorry for the pointless ramble but that’s all I’ve been up to. & so far, it’s been good. What about you guys? 

Xoxo, 

Oddinary Girl 

A Special Woman

A Special Woman

I didn’t send her a present this second Christmas but she still is close to my heart in the sense that she touched my whole-being, a new experience that’ll last for lifetime.

A woman, I would have never crossed paths with if it wasn’t for my immersion trip to Australia. I realise after my trip that she was more than a host to me. I will always remember vividly having dinner together at 7 while watching Australian Idol, the season with Benji Madden. My favourite will always be the thick cabbage soup (name I can’t recall) with warm garlic bread that she used to bake for us. Simple as that, just like her. Then, we used to wash the dishes together, though she wouldn’t let me near the hot water in the basin and instead I would be helping her dry them with a white cloth. We would sit at the kitchen counter for hours sometimes, talking about our future plans, lives and our past. She was around the age of my mother or even a bit older but she became my friend. A true friend that cared about me and in a way, envied my youth, most probably because I was a reminiscent of her childhood. She would always get me in my feet and never let me miss a chance to go out and explore. It’s strange, even if we were from 2 parts of the world, we still had so much in common. “Good on ya!”, she would say time after time, which I still remember so distinctly.

10 weeks at her place and just like that, she became one of the woman that I truly admired and aspired to be. Genuine beauty from the inside and out that made the last day very emotional for the both of us. I don’t know what it is and it’s even harder to put it in words but she was special to me and I really hope my memories of her will still be as vivid when I have kids, just so I can tell them all about this special someone. Though, I’m quite certain I may never see her again, which saddens me. But more than anything, I am beyond glad I was able to meet a unique being at my time in here, which we call life.

 

 

*I had this sudden urge to write about this special woman I got to meet during my time in Australia in fear that my memories of her would fade away in time. This urge came in when I and my friends were talking about our Australian days the other day and I realize how fragile these memories get, no matter how significant to us, it is bounded to perish as time goes by, so by writing this little description of her, I hope to seal the memories of this special woman, so that maybe in 5 to 10 years, it is just as clear as it is today.

 

Xoxo,

Oddinary Girl